The EU Destroys the Internet

Over the past few years, the internet has become the major battleground for the culture war. And the biggest threat to world leaders is the freedom it gives the average Joe. We’ve already been dealing with the reality shock of the Alex Jones ban and the Mark Zuckerberg hearings that shined a light on exactly how much power Social Media giants have over our day to day interactions. But, as Orwellian as that might seem, the European Union just passed something that brought these Social Media censoring tactics to the world stage.

The Great Meme War, as some of affectionately dubbed the culture wars, has drawn the ire of the easily offended. And if you’re familiar with the European propensity for dictatorial and totalitarian regimes you’d probably guess what kind of moves these vile sophisticates decided to make. Can’t have people out there freely expressing themselves. That’s just improper.

On Sept 12, 2018 – the EU voted and passed Articles 11 and 13 which would drastically alter the landscape of the internet for EVERYONE. These measures change the rules of copyright, and how copyrighted material is shared on the internet. Article 11 would impose a “linking tax” on companies like Google, forcing them to pay media companies for the right to link news articles and videos. What kind of nightmare are we walking into? I mean, imagine paying all kinds of hard-earned money to the agency for the right to use subpar materials – other than April 15th of course.

For example, if America had Article 11, Google would’ve had to pay a linking tax to share the story about how Trump likes to pee on Russian prostitutes.

Article 13, in this brilliant plan concocted by brilliant people who America should totally emulate more, would require platforms to police posts BEFORE they’re uploaded in order to prevent the violation of copyright. What does that mean exactly?

It means that the EU has essentially declared war against Pepe the frog…and other memes. According to Article 13 platforms will be required to block any post hosting ANY kind of copyrighted material.

Remember all those This Is America Memes? Can’t do it.


You know that favorite GIF you have where the celebrity does or says something funny? Can’t do it.

You know that news article you’d like to link showing how raindrops are sexist and how celestial bodies are racist somehow? Can’t do it.

Imagine every meme, GIF, picture, or video containing imagery or music of a movie, television show, etc. Now take those away. That’s what you’d be left with. No more dank memes.

Fortunately for the nations under the EU, the fight isn’t over yet. Each country will get a chance to vote. Then it will be referred to the EU for a second vote in early 2019. Let’s hope the other European leaders have the sense to reject this legislation. After all, they can’t have some larger entity stepping in to oppress their fellow countrymen…that’s THEIR job.

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