Stars Wars: Rian Johnson Proves Hollywood is Beyond Parody

You know those sensitive writers who get overly defensive when you critique their work? You know how they usually make ridiculous excuses like “you just didn’t get it?” or “you’re just too stupid?” They’re nothing compared to modern-day Hollywood.

Back in 2016, the Ghostbusters Reboot was a spectacular failure – bringing in abysmal numbers. It was so terrible, in fact, that Twitter’s blue checkmark brigade unanimously said it was awesome. And when the Hollywood elite is praising your movie, you know you’ve made a bland lump of gruel – the exact opposite of Chick-Fil-A. But instead of reflecting on themselves, and acknowledging what they did wrong, the people behind Ghostbusters 2016 did what sensitive amateur writers often do and convince themselves that something else is to blame.

But at least Ghostbusters 2016 blamed sexism for their failure. In 2018 Rian Johnson proves that they can take things to a whole new level of delusion. The failure of Disney’s hamfisted political Star Wars has been blamed on a lot of things: sexism, racism, Trump, etc. The usual stuff. But now, according to Rian Johnson, the failure of Star Wars has been definitively linked to Russian Trolls.

That’s right – the delusion of Hollywood has become so great that they fully believe that Russian Trolls have moved on from manipulating global politics to making sure Disney’s Star Wars fails. This is like that crazy guy who thinks the governments going to come after him because he believes in aliens. A delusion that you must be more important than you are.

Because it definitely wasn’t the terrible writing, the overbearing politics, the inconsistent tone, the epic mishandling of established characters, the rehashed plot elements, the lazy dialogue, and the trilogy’s directionless feel that tanked box-office returns. It was Russian Trolls.

I guess now that Trump’s in the White House, the next obvious threat to Russia’s complete world domination is a sci-fi franchise from the late 70’s. I guess the new Star Wars is just too woke to ignore.

Do we still need proof that Hollywood is just a cesspool full of out of touch idiots?

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